"You can stand me up at the gates of Hell, but I won't back down".
I am many things. I'm a daughter, a sister, an Aunt, a godmother and to some, a friend. I'm also a Christian, a Democrat, an artist, an activist and a survivor. I'm outspoken and opinionated.
For all these things I am, it's also important that you know, I'm completely unapologetic.
Recently a 'friend' told me I should be less outspoken about my beliefs. She continued her argument by suggesting that my opinions are to blame for not being invited to certain parties or to go on trips with other friends. And you know, at first I let this get under my skin. I don't know why, but I did.
The ironic part of this story comes in the form of a 13 year old girl - my oldest goddaughter, Gabby. It's ironic because no more than 24 hours after my friend suggested I might be more likable if I were somehow a little bit less of all those things that make me, well, me - I was enjoying a rare visit with my goddaughters, giving them one of my classic "Be Yourself" pep talks following a night of binge watching 'Girl Meets World'. Gabby asked me some very intelligent questions about my disdain for Mr Trump. I tried to be as intelligent with my response - stick strictly to substance, don't allow it to become personal - and I'm fairly certain I succeeded. Yet, even that progress was belittled as I watched her climb into her parents truck headed for the airport. Her mother's first question: "Are you still a Republican"?
(Oh yeah, their mother was the friend who suggested changing my beliefs would make me more likable. I probably should've mentioned that earlier, but if you're reading this and know me personally chances are you already drew that conclusion.)
I didn't sleep well for days after that. Between over thinking the criticism of my own life and imagining how my goddaughters might eventually be faced with the same words of wisdom about their own delicate beliefs and lives, nearly two weeks were consumed by restlessness. I'm not a great sleeper when things are going well in my life. This would literally be just the beginning of a continued period of unrest for me. All this to say, I was baited into a conversation about politics and after biting my tongue until it bled, my fatal error was saying I lost respect for my 'friend' because I find it offensive to support ignorance. I find it unforgivable to tolerate bigotry. And most importantly, I despise people who treat politics like a reality show.
There was a time when the most provocative statements made during a campaign were still grounded in some sort of substance. A time before we started calling the other candidates names on the stump stage and referring to the male anatomy/hand size in what can only be described as an actual pissing contest. A time when the office of the President was respected and the people who sought public support to work in that capacity were people that could be respected. Unfortunately, in this election, the first one my girls are actually old enough to see play out on the national stage, our country has lost its collective shit.
It's bad enough that some people are so lazy they don't even bother trying to educate themselves, but when I see parents who think this is acceptable, losing my respect for them seems shallow compared to what I would actually like to do in response.
This feeling was magnified last week as I endured four nights of RNC rhetoric from the new leaders of the Republican Party. When I talk about divisiveness in our country, please know I am blaming the GOP for being obstructionists and ineffective, intolerant and bigoted leaders. November 4, 2008 was a huge day in American history. A day I will never forget. Yes, it was my 28th birthday - the 2nd time in my life we elected a President on that day; the 1st was Reagan on 11/4/1980 & it won't happen again until 11/4/2036 - but it was the day our country elected its first African-American president. A vote I'd cast again if given the opportunity, although I'm still fairly certain the first one cost me my television producing career.
There are a few more things I want you to know. I was raised Republican. In high school, I was a member of the young Republicans. As shocking as it might be, I have voted for Republicans. I have many phenomenal friends who are Republicans and I don't believe that all members of the GOP are terrible people.
I do believe I witnessed the end of the Republican Party and I can't say that I wasn't a little happy to see it self destruct. I also don't believe any of the things I've said in this post can even be compared to the vitriol and unfiltered hate that was put on a national stage, with a spotlight and microphone for four consecutive nights in Cleveland, Ohio last week. If you are anything like me, I suggest you find a way to get through this election cycle with your sanity in tact. I have found great comfort in a biannual binge of the West Wing. In fact, since the end of the RNC on Thursday night, I've already finished the first 2 seasons. If you've never watched The West Wing you have no idea what you are missing. It's a timeless love letter to an idealistic world of progress and compromise - two things our democracy is in dire need of.
There's a good chance Gabby will read this, so I want to be very clear about one last thing - it matters very little to me if you are a Republican or a Democrat. I care whether you are asking questions about things that you don't understand. Whether you are considering the issues and thinking about how you feel about them. And most importantly, are you standing up for things and the people you have discovered that need you to raise your voice? Never let anyone make you feel like your opinion doesn't matter or needs to change to fit the expectations of those around you. You were given this one and only life. Don't spend it trying to make everyone else happy. ❤️
