this will all make perfect sense someday

SOTD: The Wreckers - "Stand Still, Look Pretty"

Just when I think things are going pretty good something happens to remind me that life is short and we shouldn't take anything for granted. A little over a week ago we found out my little brother has a serious medical condition. His eye had been a little puffy and sore for a few weeks and he finally went to the doctor to get it checked out. After running a few tests, the doctor concluded the symptoms are the result of a tumor that is lodged between his eye and his brain. Naturally, there's more...after running a few more tests a presumptive diagnosis was made: Lymphoma.

We had no idea what life had in store...

Admittedly, I know very little about the disease except that it's a form of cancer. How is it that my 26 year old brother went from laughing about something stupid I said at dinner on Sunday night to being a cancer patient on Monday afternoon? None of this makes any sense to me. The reality of the situation is beginning to set in; he has a wife and four kids and we are having casual conversations about upcoming brain surgery and chemotherapy.

Life is so much easier when you know what comes next. Good or bad, if you know how the cards are gonna fall, it's much easier to deal with the hand you're dealt. Instead, by not knowing, when life does get tough, it often feels like we're existing entirely in a state of suspended terror. (And I'm not even the one with cancer this time!)

Andy & Shawna with baby Miles

The craziest part is that if you talked to my brother today, he wouldn't let on in any way that anything is wrong, let alone that inside he's scared to death. He's more concerned with watching the new Yogi Bear movie with Kaden or potty training Jorja. I honestly don't know when he grew into such a strong young man.

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. He is scheduled for brain surgery on April 4th at which time the doctors hope to extract the tumor. Because of it's location there is a great risk that he might lose some or all of his vision. Additionally, there is some danger of memory or motor function loss if there is any damage to his brain during the extraction. And if all that goes well, he will still need chemotherapy after the surgery and his recovery will take some time. If I could trade places with him, I would. He has so much to live for and I don't want him to miss even a minute of it. But I can't. Instead, I wait. And pray.

the heart of the matter

SOTD: Ray LaMontagne - "Be Here Now"

I come from a long line of broken hearts. 

My family tree has lots of heart...problems!

Not the emotionally challenged sort, but the stop pumping, skip a beat in a bad way, physically damaged kind.

A couple of weeks ago my Mom and Grandmother had individual visits with their cardiologist who ran common tests to check for any abnormalities and both of their tests came back with issues. As a result, they were both sent to Nashville for more invasive testing. 

To say that I've been a little 'out of sorts' the last 24 hours or so would be an understatement. 

In what I can only describe as typical 'Watson' timing, they had simultaneous exploratory surgical procedures this morning. Unfortunately, because of my fabulous new job, I was unable to take the day off to be with them at Vanderbilt, but that didn't stop me from worrying myself sick. 

It started with my 45 minute commute to work. I should have just listened to the radio this morning, but if you know me, you know that I am glued to my ipod in the car and in the great tradition of 'Musical Fortune' my random playlist couldn't have been more morose. Just check out a sampling below:

1. Katy Perry - Not Like the Movies

2. Carrie Underwood - Mama's Song (cue the water works)

3. Ray LaMontagne - Be Here Now

4. Lady Antebellum - Hello World

5. Adele - Don't You Remember

6. Brandi Carlile - Turpentine

(It's possible my music library is a little heavy on the slit your wrists and cry side, but I promise it's not all depressing!! Perhaps I could use a few, new, upbeat tracks...)

The good news, however, is that everything turned out just fine. Both Mom and Granny were out of surgery before lunch and even made it back home before dinner. Granny is getting around like she spent the day at the dentist (I really hope I have some of those genes!) while Mom is taking things a little bit easier. Early reports indicate that a change in diet and lifestyle (cutting out salt & stress) could do the trick, but there is no reason to believe that either one is in any immediate danger of stroke or heart attack.

What. A. Day.