SOTD: Missy Higgins - 'Where I Stood' &
Taylor Swift - 'Back To December' (it's a two song kinda day)
It was two years ago today that my world was turned upside down. Four years ago this weekend I was in Nashville with someone I really cared about for a second term governor's inauguration. Eighteen years ago this weekend my mom moved me and my brother to Tennessee. Until recently, I didn't realize how significant this weekend has been in my life.
When we moved from the Atlanta suburbs to the small town of Crossville in 1993, it felt like I had entered a twilight zone. I thought I knew everything there was to know about growing up in the south, heck, I thought I was Southern. Boy was I wrong. Forget the thick accents and sprawling farmland; these people had their own slang for the word y'all (y'unz, a word that I've been told is really only common across a five county span of middle Tennessee). But perhaps the real shock for a kid from Atlanta came when my brother and I went to enroll at the local elementary school and I was informed that our new home county did not observe Martin Luther King holiday. As a sixth grader, the holiday held little more than the promise of a day off from school, but as I grew up I learned about Dr. King's movement to create a more tolerant and united group of Americans as well as the racism and hate the people of this small town held for people who weren't like them, and unfortunately, I was someone who wasn't like them.
At twelve years old, I had more life experience than some of the adults living right next door. I was at least a grade level ahead of my new sixth grade classmates and having been a part of the gifted program at my last school, I was used to a more non-traditional learning environment. But here, it wasn't about being the best in my class, it was about trying to fit in with my class. Something I would struggle with for years.
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| Blizzard of '93 |
To make matters worse, just as things seemed to be coming to some sense or normal, in mid March I experienced what is now known as 'The Blizzard of '93'. In a matter of three days we got over six feet of snow. That would be crippling to most communities, but what I haven't mentioned is, we lived on a farm. In the middle of nowhere, the nearest neighbor was a half-mile away and our driveway was a quarter-mile long. We weren't just snowed in for a few days, we were snowed in for a few weeks! If I didn't hate living here before, I can assure you, I hated living here after the snow storm.
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| My friend Ashley! |
It took a while for me to accept Crossville as my new home, but eventually I did. I made great friends and it wasn't long before it really started to feel like home. My very first friend in Crossville was a girl named Ashley and I am still good friends with her today. She helped me fit in to a city I so clearly didn't belong in then and she helps me make sense of all the craziness in the world when things get tough now. And although she escaped to LA, I never feel like we're all that far away.
As for the racism and hate, I am happy to say things have changed, not as much as I would like, but much more than when I arrived. The county now observes the MLK holiday and it's not entirely uncommon to see a more diverse mixture of people living and thriving in our neck of the woods.
The other event of the weekend that brings back memories of happier times was the inauguration of Governor Haslam in Nashville yesterday. Four years ago, the democrat Governor Bredesen was taking the oath for a second time and I was lucky enough to be front and center for all the festivities. As an active member of the democratic party and a girl who has come to love her home state of Tennessee, witnessing the events of that weekend meant more to me than I can begin to describe.
Additionally, I wouldn't have had access to the events the way that I did had it not been for my boyfriend at the time. A politician himself, I know he was as thrilled to be there as I was, if not, more. That weekend, I felt on top of the world, like anything was possible. It was nice.
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| Taking my moment on the stage! |
Reality brought us back to earth in the weeks that followed and in the end we went our separate ways. For me, work was the priority. I was given my first, honest to goodness, half-hour of television to produce and I put all my energy into that. Shortly thereafter, I was back in Nashville again working on a special with the Grand Ole Opry and the memories of the events just six months before were almost gone.
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| This used to be my favorite spot - My desk. |
It wasn't until after I didn't have my job to keep me busy that I realized what I had really lost. And of course by then, it was too late. Maybe I romanticize the nostalgia, but I believe had it been a different time or place, things might have ended differently. I still believe that he will achieve greatness and when the day comes, I will be the first person in line to lend his campaign my support.
As of Friday afternoon, I am no longer unemployed. I got the phone call I had been waiting for and the timing was quite impeccable. The irony of the situation still bites. My former boss was the new Governor's sister-in-law. For five years I worked for and admired the wonderful Dee Haslam. I still have a great deal of admiration for her civic consciousness and respect her as a strong female leader in an industry that is too often known as a boys club. But it took a long time to stop questioning her motives in letting me go. I guess technically, I was hired under the Bredesen administration, but when I report to work in a couple of weeks, there is no doubt that my new boss will be Bill Haslam.
I could have saved myself a lot of grief if I had just joined up with the Haslam campaign when it was offered during my lay-off. But that was two years ago and I couldn't put my personal and political beliefs aside, even though I knew he would emerge victorious. During my interview for the job with the Dept. of Human Services I was asked if I regretted that decision. I paused for a moment and responded. 'I don't regret that decision. I have learned more about myself, my beliefs and my strength by taking the tougher path. Could I have avoided a lot of the struggle? Absolutely. But had it not been for the struggle, I don't believe I'd be the person sitting here today. And I am proud of the person I have become.'
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