Advocate

 SOTD: Clean  (The Clean Speech)

"Rain came pouring down//When I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe"

I started a new job this week. I'm going to be a sexual assault advocate. If you have no idea what that means, you are in good company. I thought I knew. Turns out, I had no idea. 

The first thing you should know about my job is that I am not in the business of rescuing or helping. I'm also not in the business of judging. No, my primary objective is to provide emotional support while giving victims informed options to make the best decisions for themselves during a time of crisis. By nature, my job is listening to crisis after crisis, all day long. Not just any crisis, but crisis that is centered around sexual assault -- of anyone, at any age. 

I've written about my past traumas related to sexual assaults. This week has definitely brought a lot of those feelings back to the surface. I've also been processing emotions related to a trauma a friend is currently experiencing. I know that walking into this job, I already have some pretty heavy vicarious trauma happening in my life. How that changes over the next few months will determine if I am cut out to do this long term. 

The office culture is maybe my favorite thing so far. The women who work there are real characters. They say what they think and drop f bombs without hesitation. You can tell they genuinely like each other. My bosses are the coolest and I already want all three of them as mentors. 

I feel like I want to say a million more things, but I will be brief and just say, I think there is some kind of greater power because the timing of this job and all the other things going on in my life is completely uncanny. I am in the perfect place at the perfect time and it feels... perfect.