Mind Your Business

 SOTD: None Of Your Business 

"Now who do you think you are//Puttin' your cheap two cents in?//Don't you got nothin' to do//Than worry 'bout my friends?//Check it"

I saw a meme the other day that said, "What other people think of you is none of your business." I've been thinking about this for days now. 

I'm the kind of person who needs constant validation. My therapist would say it stems from years of being told that I am not worthy or good enough and eventually allowing that to become my reality no matter how untrue it is. But I can't help it, I care what people think of me. 

You might be reading this and thinking, I am the exact same way. If so, I wish I could tell you how much you matter -- especially if you're one of the three people who consistently reads and supports my blog. 

I remember when I first joined Pinterest. I was one of the first 10,000 users. I remember seeing this gorgeous feather dress on a model in front of the Eiffel Tower. I wanted to repost it, but I was afraid the original poster would think I was weird. In hindsight, that might be the stupidest example of how I let others control me, but it's honest. There is a vulnerability to all of our true encounters. If we aren't being vulnerable, then what's the point? It's how we make real connections. 

I start a new job in a little over a week. My greatest fear isn't the difficult work I will do as a sexual assault advocate. No. It's making new friends at work and working with strangers in my community. I want everyone to like me, but I also want to be myself and I hope that's enough. Making friends at work is always so tricky. We spend so much time there that we naturally become close, but boundaries are necessary to keep the work from following you home. 

I remember when I lost my job in TV. As I wiped tears from my eyes after hearing the news that my job had been eliminated, my first words were: "I'm going to have to work with new people" and I was genuinely anxious about that. 

I'm going to keep reminding myself that it's none of my business, but I know I will still get anxious. How do you handle this? I'm very curious.