Do you know your worth?

 SOTD: No Such Thing

"When a good thing changes//When the change is staying//Only thing to find is//What to hold on 'til there's something else to hold on to//Hold on 'til there's something else to hold on to"

I have been thinking a lot about personal worth. Not net worth -- but actual emotional and societal value. There are so many things that happen in a single day that can make you question your worth. And a more secure person might not question at all. But I am not that girl. 

When we are born, we are assigned a race, a gender, a religion, and a nationality. From before we are even aware of what those things are, we are made to think that these things define us. The truth is, we can change the narrative at any time. We might not have control over our race or nationality, but we can choose how much of those things we assign to our identity. 

We get to choose who we allow into our lives and how we let them influence us. We have the choice to reinvent ourselves at any given moment. What we can't do is create our own reality. Denying the truth is a dangerous path. No matter how much we hate the reality, we have to accept it before we can change it. 

I'm interviewing for a job that I really want tomorrow. It would be a dream job of sorts because it's entire focus is helping women who are going through the worst events of their lives. I have experienced so much tragedy and heartbreak, I want to be part of the solution for someone else. I want to sit with them in their grief until they know they aren't alone. I want to be the light that I had when I thought the darkness would last forever. 

But I'm really nervous. I struggle to find my own value and make others believe I am worth their time. I think it happens naturally with those I spend time with but being asked to discuss those qualities is terrifying. I just don't like to talk about myself in that way, and I'm starting to think it might be because I don't know my own worth. 

I told an ex once that I am fine eating alone because I know what I bring to the table. While that might be one of my best pithy comebacks, it's certainly nowhere near the truth. I'm working on it. I see it in others. I surround myself with people who truly know the value of things and I believe it makes my friendships deeper and more beneficial. I just can't see it for myself.