SOTD: The Story
"All of my friends who think I'm blessed//They don't know my head is a mess"
May is Mental Health Awareness month. Over the last year, I've become acutely aware of how important good mental health is. Like many people, my mental health took a hit after several months of feeling isolated during the pandemic. Compound that with unresolved issues I had been putting on the back burner for months and you have a recipe for real disaster.
When I realized I had a problem, it was almost too late. I had been in such a bad place for so long, it was difficult to even ask for help, but I thank God everyday that I did. For me, asking for help is the very last thing I ever want to do. But there came a point where I could no longer try to pretend I didn't need professional help.
I know my triggers. I struggle just like anyone else to try to let go of control, but I also struggle with relationships I know are only making things worse. It's hard because sometimes I feel like I might die if I let go, even though I know that's what I need to do. It's definitely hard. I've adjusted my meds so many times, I think we finally got it right, but I know the things I still need to address -- I just can't. And I have to be believe that for now, that's okay.
If you are reading this and ever feel like you need help, I hope you know I am here. If it weren't for some very caring and patient friends, I'm not sure I would've survived my last major breakdown. If you only take one thing away from reading this, I hope it's that you aren't alone. And you should never be ashamed of needing help. I'm serious. Just email me: aliciapaige80@gmail.com.
Mental health is important all 12 months of the year, but if you need to use the month of May as an excuse to address it head on, there's no shame in that. We are all in this together -- and none of us are getting out alive. I find some comfort in knowing all that.
For my full backstory, look to my post from October 2020.
peace and love
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